Too much admin for a Sunday.

• Pack up boxes before movers come on Friday – 95% done
• Take inventory – Not done
• Power of attorney. Last will and final testament. Reassessing retirement performance against goals – #%$^@#!  This takes so much time to understand. Not done!
• Open an investment fund account – Done
• Pay credit card bill – Done
• Updating the Living in South Africa page – Done
• Dale Carnegie’s “How to make friends and influence people” – Done! Finished the book
• Understand the difference between mutual funds & electronically traded funds (ETF) – Done

Two articles I’d like to recommend after 6 hours on the web:

• Why ETFs are superior to Mutual Funds
• “Why procrastination will steal your future wealth”

“If today is your 20th birthday and you begin a system of saving $263.67 every month—that’s $3,164.04 per year—for 45 years, never pay any taxes or investment fees on it and earn 7% a year, you will have $1 million in the bank when you hit age 65.”

7% annual return is the average return of US indices like Standard and Poor’s (S&P)… which means we need to create appropriate investment vehicles to park our cash. If you were me from yesterday (without today’s all-day research), this probably makes no sense to you.

I feel your pain. I really do.
In the next few days, I’ll translate ‘super scary and gibberish financial talk’ to regular people speak. Starting tomorrow, I’ll start investigating appropriate ETFs with lowest management fee , zero transaction costs, and efficient tax vehicle.

My goal is to park excess cash into an ETF by 10 May.

Feeling awkward around people. Feeling rigid and unsure of myself. Feeling disconnected from the world. Spending too much time inside my head and most likely not getting out. The writer’s depth of thinking increases with every letter I type. It feels as if the serious writer has taken over this body. I’m still stuck on me from a year ago when everything was too much and too fast.

Have you found yourself stuck in the past? How do you bring yourself to the present?

“I’m sorry. I’ve been meaning to read your blog but I just haven’t had the time!” says a good friend.

It’s okay! The blog is for me. I’m the biggest customer. On top of my personal goal of becoming a better writer, I get additional joy from having a fan base of four loyal readers located in the USA, EU, and South Africa. 

I wish people wouldn’t feel bad about not doing the things they don’t want to do. Not having to make excuses for living the life of their choosing. Many don’t like to read. Online content could be off-putting and distracting.

I flirted with the podcast idea. However, there is beauty with print that is like no other.

Words have the freedom to enter our minds and shape the imaginative world of our own creation. The shades of rainbow to color the world within, and textures of our choosing to give meaning where they belong. To create necklace of words that can be worn around our hearts.

Back at gym after a month’s hiatus.
Five days later, the body revolts in pain.

10 months to get strong.
3 weeks to lose it all.

It takes four days of practice to be at work by 7 am and push out meaningful content. I often underestimate how much time it takes to get used to something or someone.

It takes ~5 times more energy to start something. The starter motor’s sole function is to start the car before internal combustion takes over. It must disengage quickly, otherwise it’ll burn out. Once started, less energy needed to keep the wheels turning.

Is my starter motor doing what it’s designed to do? To start me up before the procrastination monster takes over and leaves me immobile?

My starter motor is powered by the stillness of early morning before the world invades my personal space. When my mind is clear and full of possibilities, it takes less to do what I’ve set out to do.

The starter motor must engage and disengage with precision. Mindful of the new things started and existing ventures to be maintained. I only have one tank of gas to get me through the day.

Am I prioritizing my start up and maintenance efforts to get to my next destination on time, before I run out of gas? Am I stopping too often? Am I stopping too often, only to start back up again?

I attend a meeting with no agenda and no venue (so I am late).

“What is this meeting for? What is the desired output?” I ask. The facilitator fumbles through an answer. I ask questions that go unanswered. I comment on the absence of key decision makers from two functional areas. He’s been trying to set up a meeting for 3 weeks without success.

Instead of listening, he attacks. He makes blanket statements. “You won’t even look at this document and because of it, you’ll prevent us from moving forward.”

To which I reply with a smile, “We are here to support the business. Please present us with facts and options analysis on the back of a Total Cost of Ownership (TCO) model for us to have a thorough discussion. He doesn’t hear me because he’s not here to listen. He’s here to pummel a decision through. No benchmark has been done aside from simple diagrams.

The dangers of working in silos and not listening to understand.
If he can’t even get key stakeholders in one room, how is he equipped to facilitate difficult discussions that require sensible answers to tough questions?

The power of facilitation is often underestimated. Who are you putting to task?
Is it the right person to represent your brand?

The gap widens between those with money and the rest of us. Aside from the obvious (shrinking middle class, loss of traditional job markets, lack of access to capital, etc), there is a fundamental difference in how we view money.   

It’s no wonder the rich grow richer while regular folk continue to live hand to mouth.

Where do you see yourself between the Regular and Rich folk spectrum? Is money evil? Do you feel uncomfortable talking about money with your loved ones? Are you investing towards the future? Are you most worried about having a ‘6-month emergency fund’ above all else? Do you have unpaid credit card bills? Do you know how much you’re worth today?

Do you want to get better with money? And don’t know how? I’m no expert, but I see myself on the right of regular folk spectrum. The little I know is through self-research but application of knowledge has lagged for far too long. I’m going to take the plunge to become a better investor. Please feel free to join me on my journey towards money happiness.

I am under a powerful spell. Everything in my body screams for more. Senses heighten. The heart meanders towards the source of attraction. To steal another glance. To hear it once more. To experience it over and over again.

The body wants what it wants, and the heart races with curious wonder. I cannot understand it, nor do I care to unravel this delightful mystery. The haunting behind its beauty causes proud obsession.

It hooks me and reels me in. A willing participant, I let the current carry me to the world of someone else’s imagination.

I close my eyes and consume his words that play like the individual notes of his musical composition. As the words unravel, I can imagine his set of notes connecting to create a feeling of joy. Through his words, I can feel the music playing in the background.

I fall in love with the composer’s words used to describe his music. I bite the hook while leafing through a playbill for the New York Philharmonic Orchestra.

Addiction vs. Perseverance. Both words describe one’s focus and action over time yielding self-harm or accomplishment.

• Addiction: Negative connotation often linked to alcohol, drugs and abusive relationships
• Perseverance fueled by passion is used to describe a chef’s journey towards his first Michelin star. A conductor’s stretch into the world stage. A doctor fighting for a cure. A baker perfecting her pizza dough. A child learning to read. The list goes on.

Let’s get rid of the choice of doing nothing. Which word would you choose to describe yourself?

Every morning, say hi to everyone with a big smile on your face. Be obsessed with being kind to others. Play/cook/dance/paint/write no matter what! Incessantly be thankful for the smallest joys of life.

Or do you continue on your path of resistance towards instant gratification? Have another piece of cookie/cake/pudding/chocolate with sugary drinks! Chug another shot! YOLO! Yeah? Yeah!!!! Say yes to the person who makes you feel small and worthless. Complain, complain and complain!

The choice is yours and yours alone.

Addiction. Perseverance. Obsession.
Which word would you use to describe yourself? (Would others say the same about you? Are you sure?)

I hear birds. Leaves bristle with encouraging nudge from the gentle breeze. I look up and see soft hues of white jet stream highlighting the African sky. Familiar sounds of New York are long gone, along with the group of tourists at Times Square.

I am happy to be back, yet I miss the city’s grungy mass of energy.

Are we ever happy in the moment?

Or, is there always a lag? The lag of appreciation. The lag of disappointment. The lag of regret for saying too much or the things unsaid?

Are thank you cards a genius invention to address these fleeting moments?
Thank you for being awesome. Thank you for taking care of me. Thank you for being thoughtful. Thank you for a whole lot of nothing. Thank you for reminding me to be kind, not cruel like you. Thank you for showing me there are bad people like you, so I know how to prepare those under my protection.

Thank you
Family. New and old friends. Strangers.
For your time. Saying hi. Smiling. Frowning. Questioning. Listening. For being alive next to me.

“The human soul doesn’t want to be advised or fixed or saved. It simply wants to be witnessed — to be seen, heard and companioned exactly as it is.” by Parker J. Palmer / On Being 

I had refrained against reading Dale Carnegie’s “How to make friends and influence people.” Mistaking the title for another “how to unicorn your cronut.” A quick fix to get people to be more gregarious to survive the post-industrial world.

The first three chapters veered me away from my confirmation bias. It’s not a silly ‘how to’ guide. Rather, a philosophy on kindness and generosity: a thoroughly researched and well-written book serving to teach us to be better human being by understanding and empowering those around us.

During the past two years, I’ve had to manage project team members and direct reports. The way I manage direct reports was different from the cross functional team members’. Perhaps it’s the sense of ownership. Direct reports’ well-being and development under my care. With the wider project team, I expected deliverables. I left the development to their supervisors.

Everyone is responsible, including continuous development of others. Especially leading and guiding everyone around us. As we climb the ladder, our words grow legs and volume.

Words meant to encourage may break people down. Taken as criticisms and not suggestions towards improvement. Compliment sandwich, anyone?

Most of us lack self-discipline. Most not encouraged to figure out the how. Most often told to press a button. File paper. Collect signatures. Trained to use the smallest part of the brain.

Is it cruel to demand something totally out of their reach? So cruel that it destroys their self-confidence? Is it like asking the fish to fly? The importance of fitting the right person with the right role…

Did you know? Thomas Hardy stopped writing after receiving harsh criticism. The writer in me mourns for the world’s loss as well as his soul.

Next week at work, I’ll offer no criticism. Maybe this is key to more silence, something I am working on. Something I’m still terrible at. Should will be deleted from my spoken vocabulary until further notice.