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I read a short story about a man served prison sentence for eight years and was released at the age of 24. He didn’t know how to get a driver’s license. It took eight trips… He had not been taught the basics of life’s administration. He worked at a local book store, where he fell in love. He married and had two children. He was invited to work at Harvard. Despite the odds, he became a lawyer, championed by his peers and professors. And look at him now! His story on New York Times has reached millions around the globe.

He could have given up, citing life’s compounded unfairness on his black body. Having no father to look up to. The unfairness of the criminal injustice system. How the bar may not even allow him to practice despite him getting full marks. He had enough reasons to give up. No one would have blamed him.

He reminds us.

We are not a sum of our circumstances. We are a product of the choices we make. The things we do. The things we don’t.

Being the first to achieve life’s milestones has its challenges. My university combined theory with practical reality. Not only did we learn about diesel thermodynamics, but also how to time cylinders in a four-hour lab. Most people from my discipline became facility engineers or sailors. And when looking for jobs, I set my sights on similar postings: grease monkey.

The combination of luck, networking and good grades put me on a different course. My “first” job with an awesome global company afforded me the opportunity to travel the world while earning a nice living (with expense account), and doing cool stuff. It opened my eyes to a brand-new world. I met people pursing their MBAs. CEOs. Entrepreneurs. Teachers. Volunteers. Those who dug trenches. Cleaned houses. People from all walks of life. Averaging between 10 to 13 hour days, I found ways to work hard while having fun.

Traveling was great until I grew tired of making new circles of friends every few years. I needed a change and looked around. My peers were pursuing MBAs, and so, I jumped on the band wagon. When I disembarked two years later, I found myself in a foreign country with no job and no friends (once again).

Luck propelled me to another global company to do more cool things with amazing people.

What is the point of all this? Not long ago, the best job I could ever imagine was swinging wrenches at a power plant or a HVAC company. Working every day, ‘earning’ my wages.

Today, I am thinking of ways to make money not from my wages, but from creating value. How to best leverage, delegate and focus. How to be a better leader, manager, and team member. How to be the best me. Money carries a different meaning. Money doesn’t buy you happiness. It buys you time. Passive income trumps active income (wages).

They say you are an average of the 5 people you spend the most time with. You set your sights to mimic those around you.

So, if you want to dream the impossible, change your habits. Change your surroundings. Change the way you move. Change the way you live your life. Until then, nothing will change. Achieving different outcome by doing the same thing is simply impossible.

My eyes squint to see who is driving a fancy white car. I am amazed to see someone from my team. What I know is this: she makes too little money to afford such a car. Why would someone buy a moving liability that gets used 2 hours a day, that sits in a lot, and most likely a heavy financial burden?

Why do live beyond our means? Why do we enslave our lives to jobs to pay for products with no intrinsic value? Why do we buy things to impress others and seek external validation?

I don’t care about worldly posessions. I value time and fleeting moments full of joy.

What do I drive? A small car that does what it’s supposed to: get me from here to there safely with no bells and whistles.

A piece of white paper.

Sketch an idea or a plan. Draw lines and color the blocks. Take notes. Write a love letter. Turn it over. Do it all over again.

Fold it once. Then some more. Make a boat. Or an airplane to take flight. Cut it. Crumple it into a ball. Throw it at someone before running away with mischief. Ha!

What do you see? A blank canvas? A construction material to realize our wildest imaginations?

Life is like a piece of paper. What we choose to do with it is entirely up to us.

She has two children of her own. She adopts her ex-husband’s two nieces and nephew. She becomes a mom of five children. Then she gets cancer.

After surgery, she sets up a restaurant to feed her children, aged 3 to 18 years old.

She chooses to forgot chemotherapy to keep her breadline going.

Perspective… imagine this lady’s life and compare our struggles against her’s.

Walking to my car, I smell flowers in bloom.

On my drive home, the sun sets to my right, as another day bids me a soft pinkish adieu.

Ability to smell and see. Two senses we take for granted. Just imagine how life would be, if our eyes and nose didn’t work!

For the next while, I will do my best to be thankful for all that I have. And sever ties with the unhappy business of complaining for all that I lack.

Daily reminders. A friend was advised to do this and I’d like to replicate.

3 things I am grateful for.

3 things I have learned.

1 goal for the day.

I am grateful for my health, amazing friends and special person.

I have learned:

1. It doesn’t matter how well you play for the first 90% of the game. It’s not over until it’s over. Play the entire game. Don’t slack off. Tidy up.

2. We should never measure today’s encounters based on yesterday’s experiences.

3. Reminders help us do the right thing. Even simple things like washing and exfoliating our faces.

Today, I will do my best to finish off what I started.

Preview and review. Repeat.

Teachers would recite 예습 복습 before every lesson.

Simple yet critical way to learn and retain.

Maybe this is another way to break down with the latest fad: live with intention.

The late Stephen Covey, through his book “8th habit”, mentions the importance of creating space between the two forces:

• Stimulus –> Space –> Response (reaction)
• Cause –> Space –> Effect

External forces cannot be controlled or forecast. But we can control how long and big the space needs to be. The space determines the effectiveness and appropriateness of our responses.

It’s not practical to have space for every external force. Intentional space between inhaling and exhaling is called a defibrillator. It would be silly to have space between every step we take. Some things must be hard wired.

On the other hand, it would be terrible to hard wire responses to various emotional stimuli.
Unfortunately, we tend to relate one stimuli to the next, when the person and situation are completely different.

How do we know when to apply the space vs. providing automatic response?
Once we decide, how do we create the right amount of space between the stimuli and the effect?

They say there is only one person that can love you.

Soul mate. The one. The chosen.

You look all over the world for this special person.

No matter how hard you try, you keep spinning in circles.

You may have been searching in all the wrong places.

You will find the person when you stop looking.

You will find this person when you close your eyes.

You will see that only you can love yourself. You can’t outsource the most important job to others.

Not even to close friends, family and lovers. They don’t work for you. They are there for you to express your love and appreciation.