Category: Uncategorized

Until you have something else that will create a solid revenue stream.

I have read that you should test out your ideas and test the market potential while you still have a job. Theoretically, it makes sense, but I didn’t get it. Until now, that is.

I have a friend who is full of ideas. She will immerse herself into new ventures with full animation. They are all awesome ideas. The only problem? No one is willing to pay for her services. Let’s take a corporate example.

Guy is a go getter. He gets things done. He exceeds every target. Every year. But…he is not a team player. Doesn’t include his peers in critical decision making, and people in his team don’t know what their goals are for the rest of the year.

Sally is also a go getter. She meets her target every year. She is a great team player. She includes all in her decision making, and her team appreciates her coaching and clear communication style. Her customers love her, but they are not able to buy from her because they are small businesses owners.

Guy is in sales. He is the #1 sales lead. Sally is in sales too, but she is only #100.

Who gets promoted? Guy becomes head of sales. But his team suffers from unclear guidelines and effective communication skills.

Corporates, while touting teamwork and communication as critical skillsets, they will promote those that increase sales or reduce costs. They would rather invest money in sales programs, instead of general people skill development.

It seems my friend is going for the latter. Further, she has not gotten paid for her other small ventures in 3 months.

Imagine the stress. Working full time and testing side hustles is stressful. But compared to the stress of no income and no leads, juggling 2 endeavers is better. Why? You have one solid revenue while you develop the unknown. You have 3 options with this scenario: 1. Keep job. 2. Keep job and side hustle. 3. Quit job and do side hustle 100% of the time.

If you had quit to pursue your dreams, you have only one option: make it work.

Of course, the art of war says you must burn your ships so the soldiers have no choice but to win the battle.

But we are not fighting enemies with faces, a battle of skill and commitment between two defined adversaries. One wins. The other loses.

There is no enemy. There is no war. We do not have control over ammunition, vantage points, escape routes, and supply chain.

The market decides everything. The hiring manager must give you the job. Consumers must be willing to pay for your products or services. You can’t force them to do anything. You must be good enough. You must be better than your competition. What you do or think, if it does not match up to market expectations, has no future.

So maybe you shouldn’t burn your ship. You shouldn’t quit your day job. Your day job provides the ammunition, vantage points, escape routes, and supply for your new ventures. Instead of burning your ship, use it to your advantage. It will reduce the sheer panic of making things work (when it won’t) and having to borrow and beg from your family.
It will give you the peace of mind, despite the crazy hours and ongoing frustration of the day to day factory shifts.

Don’t quit your job until you can build another ship of your own colors. It must be ready to sail with your chosen soldiers, provisions, and cash register to collect all that money!

Low unemployment rates. Favorable interest rates. Bull stock market. Unicorns roam the Silicon Valley. Uber this. Airbnb that. Sharing is king. Gig economy is in.

January rings with faint news of yet another respiratory disease from China. It’s probably another SARS or MERS. Meh. We continue to live our best lives doing what we do best. Go to work. Try out the latest fashion. Swipe right. Brunch. Dine. Wine. Socialize. Deal and wheel. Vacation overseas.

Global citizens, we can go anywhere and do anything! The world is our oyster. Nom nom nom.

Until it wasn’t. Borders shuttered. Travelers stranded. Lovers separated. Weddings delayed. Birthday parties cancelled. Elective surgeries ceased. No more handshakes. No more hugs! No more conversations. Everyone is scared. We shut ourselves in.

Enter digital workspace for office workers. Massive layoffs and unemployment for others. Small businesses shuttered, and big companies hobble along. Yet, some thrive. New businesses spring up, and new wealth is created still.

You are forced to stay home, all by yourself. Or with people in your house, but don’t spend any time with.

No more traveling! You are not to socialize!

Socialites become hermits. Hermits grow lonely. Couples break up. Estranged family members make up. No more distractions. Kicking and fighting, we stand still.

Take away the outside world. 

Take a deep breath. Remember to breathe.

If you forget to breathe, you will die. Covid-19 reminds us to breathe on our own, without the help of others.

Mourning yawns. Morning dawns.

We look into the rearview mirror of who has contacted us over the past six months? Who did we stay in touch with? What have we purchased? Everything shrinks. We cut out the clutter.

We cook. We eat. We sleep. We go for walks.

We go back to basics.

We focus on the important. What was once urgent is no longer relevant.

We take off our glasses of the past. We open our eyes.

It is 2020, and we have perfect vision.

On Sunday, after 8 minutes of rowing, my lower back pulled a little. I took a 2 minute breather and went back to rowing, to achieve my target of 30 minutes.

Few hours later, I can barely bend and my back is killing me. I have never experienced this type of pain? Try putting on pants when your back doesn’t bend? Hahaha!!!

Actually, I cringed. Ow. I ignored my first rule: listen to your body. Pain is a strong sign. Telling you to stop what you are doing.

This rule trumps the no pain no gain mantra. So I must start over again on my fitness journey. How exciting.

I am okay, aside from being stuck with no immediate prospect of seeing family and friends overseas. Airplanes stopped taking off in March 2020, aside from repatriation flights. I am a US citizen with South African residency. My livelihood is here, while my family members are overseas. So I stay here, because home is where the pay check is (for now).

Phase 1.

I wake up. Stare at my laptop until my eye balls hurt. Order glasses. Put glasses on. Drink water. Go pee. Get on teams call. Try to do some work, until I get a phone call. Do that. And go back to my work. Another meeting. Drink water. Go on mute. Pee again. Eat something. Go to sleep. Repeat.

Phase 2.

Do the same but introduce weekend walks. Enjoy birds singing and other humans exercising around me.

Phase 3.

Create home office to separate work from home. Mildly successful until I have to work in the living room again for 2 weeks.

Phase 4.

Phase 1 and 2 with daily rowing at the end of day.

Work. Eat. Drink water. Sleep. Repeat.

Phase 5.

Instead of trying to fit life into work, I am trying to fit work into life. Because work never ends and life is finite.

So far, so good.

No gym, no problem!

I thought I would be able to keep up my fitness despite not going to the gym (gyms are closed).

I thought wrong.

I planned to do my usual squats and other circuit training at home. Three months passed with average daily activity of less than 2000 steps. Sometimes hundreds!

One day, I overindulged myself into a gout. I kid you not. Yes, from a day of too many chocolate bars, and barely moving, my left foot swelled to the size of a Hobbit’s (more on this later…)

Couldn’t walk. Couldn’t drive.

Fast forward a month. I run for 10 minutes without stopping, and my lungs burn like they never did before. I had to stop and rest, fighting back coughing fits.

The run scared me. I have been in excellent shape since 2014. Although I don’t run outdoors often, I used to do enough cardio and strength training to run a 5k under 28 minutes, impromptu.

Now I find myself gasping for air, not able to breathe. I exhaust from a fast walk uphill.

Seriously? After six years of consistent fitness, I am reduced to this? How am I supposed to outrun the corona or zombies if World War Z were to strike?

I was embarrassed with myself. For letting myself go. For neglecting once again the most important person in my life: me.

So I decided to invest in my greatest asset and bought a rowing machine: concept2 model D, world’s most popular model. I have used this brand for 20 years, and it always gives me the best workout.

Surprisingly, it arrived three days later, and I have completed 5 workouts, 3 in a row as of tonight.

I love the way my body glides across the rail as my arms extend, and I gulp for air before my body glides again. My goal this week is 15 minutes or 3km.

I have done this thrice. Two more days to go before accomplishing week 1’s goal of getting back to shape.

Well done me.

“Why haven’t you updated your blog?” My friend from work asked me.

I hate excuses. They are all stupid. Too busy. Not enough time. It’s hard. Blah blah.

I haven’t done it. I being key. I give my best hours and self to work and others. Leaving me with second best. After a full day of work, I am spent and all I want to do is nothing. Rest. My tank is empty.

I fell off the wagon again. And will do so again! However, as I get back on, like I do now, I learn something new. This time? Put myself first. Nothing can replace me.

Instead of trying to fit life around work, and focusing on retirement savings, fit work around my life. Live my life.

Monday: Tired. Tuesday. Fluish. Wednesday. Body aches and mild fever. I take a bath.

Thursday: all of the above. Continue to toss and turn. And can’t sleep through the night. Another bath.

Friday. Again, toss and turn. Cannot sleep through the night. Waking every hour to pee. A call from colleague to check in on me. After another bath, I decide to get tested.

I call Lancet. They only test post a doctor’s referral. I call my doctor and the receptionist asks standard set of questions. Have you been exposed to covid19? Have you travelled recently? No. No. I call my work health care line. I describe my symptoms and they book me in. I call the testing site and they are busy. I am booked for 1115 am on Monday.

Massive headaches start around 2pm and my head feels as if it’s a migraine. I generally feel worse and sneeze more.

I am pretty sure I have the virus. The annoying bit? I have been on the forefront of telling people about the dangers of this virus. The need to prepare. Flatten the curve. Getting angry and incredulous when I see people not washing hands after using the bathroom

My head hurts so much and I can’t really talk.

And here I am.

How do you measure the quality of your life? By the number of trailing zeroes in your bank account? Size of your house? Number of fancy cars in your garage? Number of designer hand bags?

I measure mine by the number of free moments, freedom to work or not anywhere, and quality of mutually meaningful relationships.

Yet, I find myself chasing deadlines, waking to work to back home routine. Fighting the urge to work all the time, and use my Saturday to rest before getting to unfinished and never ending work piling up.

Living the life that is against my ethos so I can have the money to get time to spend with loved ones.

The irony of it all.

People want cheaper this and that. So companies must cut staff. Cost goes down and so does the price of goods. But the ones grateful and good enough to retain their jobs must work longer. And those let go, need cheaper things as their purchasing power reduces.

And it goes on and on and on.

Now than I was before September 2, 2019.

It’s as if my eyes can see what I used to take for granted. Aware of all people and things, I peer inside.

I see myself from the outside in. The insider had been reaching out all along. The outsider grabs the hand. Into each other’s eyes, they smile. The two become one. The outsider is no longer blind. She stops dragging the other. The insider no longer begs to be seen and heard. Her cry ends.

Then they teach me what I am ready to learn:

It is my duty to take care of myself. There is no one better. I can only be the best me. That is all I can and should do. Instead of trying to make someone else happy, I must put myself first. Because my life is mine to love. Not doing so is the greatest abdication of my life’s work.

I’m adjusting relatively well to the new time zone. My sleep can improve.

Most are shocked to see my dry eyes crinkling with laughter. Why isn’t she depressed? Why isn’t she sitting in the corner crying? How can she be okay?

Practice makes everything easier. This is the third major death of immediate family member. It was not the first, nor will it be the last. We are born. We die. Why are we shocked to learn of death, when that is the surest truth of human existence?

Death is like sex. Some parents believe that talking about sex will lead to their children having premature sex. Most don’t broach the subject of death unless it is to share sympathy or relay the horrific news. We don’t talk about death. We are therefore unprepared for the inevitable end of our lives. How will those survived carry out the funeral? What will happen to my asset? Who will look after the dependents? Why do only 40% of us have a will, yet we kow where we are going for our next holiday?

This death made me think about life differently. There is one life with this one body and mind. Instead of worrying and wondering if we are good enough, why don’t we worry about the type of life we lead? Am I livng my best life? What must I stop doing? What should I invest more time and money?

Emotions still surge.

I cried. I screamed. I was sad. Grief will strike unexpectedly.

But when I looked at his life, separate from my own guilt and regret, I think he had a good life. He left without pain. He had a respectful and celebratory send off attended by the hundreds. He had created a community of friends, mentors, mentees, and family that would mourn the loss of his life. He lived fully, and ate three meals that were the ultimate testament of his well being and contentment. No savings. No assets. A man working to live day to day. A man who took care of others and not himself nor his biggest responsibility. He did the best he could. He was proud of his creations.

He was a man who gave his best.

I wonder if I am living my best, using the gifts, talents, and opportunity I have been fortunate to have in my life